Single parents describe themselves as lonely, isolated, vulnerable and worthless. There is a real sense their world has shrunk. Trying to meet people in bars and clubs can feel like a younger person's game, especially when you need a single friend and a babysitter to get there. Susan Broom is a bubbly woman with a ready laugh who is 48, single, and has now given up actively looking for a man, certainly online, and is not afraid to admit that she does feel the sadness of that.

I prefer men of my own age. But a lot of those men my age are only looking at women in their 20s or 30s. Because of its 'anything is possible', 'sweet-shop' appeal, online dating just encourages men to cherry-pick their ideal — usually younger — mate.

Which is depressing if you're a woman of a certain age. Studies across all cultures and nations have shown a consistent trend for men to have younger partners. An unhappy pattern for plus women who want a new partner. It's an invisible band of women, they don't complain and they just get on with their lives, but actually it's tough for them.

It's hard to meet people, especially in London. I'd like to try to set something up for the single people in my area, I know they are out there. A physical event where people actually meet instead of everybody finding online dating a bit of a letdown and just staying home feeling sorry for themselves.

Women also report losing friends because of the differences between single and attached lives. So it's tough because you also have to get out there and find a new bunch of female mates too, and, of course, they end up being younger than you, and then you worry about going out with them and they'll be getting chatted up and you won't!

And in a real way — not just in a 'singledom rocks' way. Because quite often it really doesn't. There are rewards, however, for remaining single, says Kate Grussing, the founder of the management consultancy firm Sapphire Partners, who believes single, childless women in their 40s and 50s have huge advantages at work.

They have proved themselves, they are good at what they do and at the top of their game. And they will have got where they are in their careers by juggling far fewer balls on the way up. When actress Lynda Bellingham, 62, met her third husband, Michael Pattemore, in she assumed "he wouldn't fancy me". She said: "Reaching 50 really does change the way you're regarded by society. Reaching my 50s was an unsettling time, and I felt that my romantic life was over.

And that kind of assumption is something which holds a lot of women back, claims Julia Macmillan. She is on a mission to help women to tackle their something love drought by doing what men do — going younger. Macmillan, 49, has set up toyboywarehouse.

Younger men are nowadays desperate to meet older women, she claims, and she has more men than women looking for love on her site. Our battle is to change women's mindset and get women to believe that there are younger men who want what they are, experienced, strong-willed, confident. Men in their mids slow down, women are dynamic and full of energy.

We need to match that energy. This is the benefit of being in my 40s. I told him to go nuts, send it to anyone he wanted. I mean, who cares? And I never heard from him again. Nor did I ever use Hinge again. Hopefully, you'll have better luck than I did. eHarmony was started by a psychologist who saw the need for a more logical, compatibility-based online dating option for people genuinely looking for love. It's an antidote to the swipe-swipe looks-based madness of other apps. You do this by answering a question quiz about yourself, your likes, and your wants, and they match you up with your most compatible people from there.

and their married matches go on to experience significantly fewer divorces. If you want to get serious, go here. They have three subscription-based membership levels, and the more you pay, the more freedom and matches you get. A quiz? This immediately excites me, I'm in. Forever love? But gimme that quiz. eHarmony is based on an algorithm designed to match you up with your most compatible possibilities to ensure the richest, deepest connection. Great, I could get married but even greater, I like quizzes.

Bring it on! And while I love taking the quiz, it does seem a bit arbitrary. Do I support my partner's different point of view? I don't know — depends on the point of view? How would my friends characterize me? Um, you really think I know the answer to that? OMG, what would they say? Who am I? Worst of all, you can't go back and correct your answers later. Here's my other issue: Once I get past the quiz and set up my profile I'm presented with an overwhelming grid of potential matches.

Too much, too many. Too tiny. I need that one-by-one slideshow to look right in their eyes and accept them as actual human guys with moms and souls. These tiny headshots make them look like eBay search results. I get a slew of responses to my profile but they're all over the place.

There are winks and waves and likes and messages and hi! I can't figure out or categorize any of this. I shut it down. The League was founded in by Amanda Bradford as a better way to meet high-quality partners — yes, it sounds elitist and has gotten a lot of flack, but the emphasis on cutting through the B. of dating culture really resonated with me.

It's refreshingly straight-talking. The other essential component of The League: You need to be invited to join so you have to know someone already using it and you have to connect your LinkedIn account. It's a bit like an east-coast-centric Raya, full of businessmen, bankers, and high-profile professionals.

Yes, you have to pay through the nose, but I don't mind! In my experience, the men also seemed to be better behaved than on other sites. I also liked that since you only get given only a certain amount of matches each day, it takes that panicked, endless swiping out of the equation. This was a huge relief. And through The League, I went on some amazing dates to lovely restaurants with accomplished guys!

While none of them led to a relationship honestly, this was at the end of my online dating experiment and by this point, I was maxed out and suspicious of everyone , I would classify The League as the best app for dating over I firmly believe you get what you pay for, and at this point in life, it's worth the investment!

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W hen a divorced woman on "the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids" began to write about her experiences of being single last week, she opened her blog with the extraordinary statement that she was in "relationship no man's land", condemned to be alone for the rest of her life. The anonymous woman, whose blog is called The Plankton, is not alone in believing that there are problems specific to being a single woman in middle age.

A survey this month found eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labelled as a "mum". Women and men are living longer and fitter lives; the average age at which we divorce is rising — 41 now for women and 43 for men — and the number of single parents is projected to rise to 1.

There is a new demographic of confident and experienced women, at their sexual peak as far as science is concerned, who would like to find a partner. But life, friendship and love for the single woman in her mids and beyond has its own particular complications and sorrows. Susan Quilliam, a relationships expert and agony aunt, said that some women were suffering "terribly". They are also much more in a rush to get into a new relationship and are much less likely to give someone a second chance, which may seem callous but they are much more likely to fall in love quickly.

For men, it's a case of you fulfil the criteria, let's buy the double duvet. It's a shame men aim for the younger age range because women of 45 and 55 are arguably much more sexually mature and able to give a lot more pleasure than, say, a woman of The author of the Plankton blog sums up the emotional aftermath of her divorce in bleak fashion: "I may live till I am 90, but a sort of death has already come.

I am already in a wilderness — maybe [facing] my time again, over 40 years, it's possible, but with no one. She points to a passage in the book Intimacy by Hanif Kureshi, when his narrator briefly considers the fate of the woman he is leaving: "A lone middle-aged woman with kids doesn't have much cachet.

She will, unfortunately, become the recipient of sympathy. At dinner parties divorced men will be placed next to her. But according to many singles, even getting invited to the dinner party can be tricky when people tend to socialise with other couples as they get older and settled into marriages and parenthood. Katie Sheppard, the director of relationships at Match. com, said online dating was now the second most common way couples met across the UK — behind being introduced by friends or family — and for older people it can be a perfect way to "dip a toe back into dating".

Its research shows that dating is, especially for divorced women, fraught with complication, anxiety and worry. Looking for second-time love when children are a first priority is a challenge. Nicola Lamond, Netmums spokeswoman and mother, said: "Being a single parent can be pretty tough. Single parents describe themselves as lonely, isolated, vulnerable and worthless. There is a real sense their world has shrunk. Trying to meet people in bars and clubs can feel like a younger person's game, especially when you need a single friend and a babysitter to get there.

Susan Broom is a bubbly woman with a ready laugh who is 48, single, and has now given up actively looking for a man, certainly online, and is not afraid to admit that she does feel the sadness of that.

I prefer men of my own age. But a lot of those men my age are only looking at women in their 20s or 30s. Because of its 'anything is possible', 'sweet-shop' appeal, online dating just encourages men to cherry-pick their ideal — usually younger — mate. Which is depressing if you're a woman of a certain age. Studies across all cultures and nations have shown a consistent trend for men to have younger partners.

An unhappy pattern for plus women who want a new partner. It's an invisible band of women, they don't complain and they just get on with their lives, but actually it's tough for them. It's hard to meet people, especially in London. I'd like to try to set something up for the single people in my area, I know they are out there.

A physical event where people actually meet instead of everybody finding online dating a bit of a letdown and just staying home feeling sorry for themselves. Women also report losing friends because of the differences between single and attached lives. So it's tough because you also have to get out there and find a new bunch of female mates too, and, of course, they end up being younger than you, and then you worry about going out with them and they'll be getting chatted up and you won't!

And in a real way — not just in a 'singledom rocks' way. Because quite often it really doesn't. There are rewards, however, for remaining single, says Kate Grussing, the founder of the management consultancy firm Sapphire Partners, who believes single, childless women in their 40s and 50s have huge advantages at work.

They have proved themselves, they are good at what they do and at the top of their game. And they will have got where they are in their careers by juggling far fewer balls on the way up. When actress Lynda Bellingham, 62, met her third husband, Michael Pattemore, in she assumed "he wouldn't fancy me".

She said: "Reaching 50 really does change the way you're regarded by society. Reaching my 50s was an unsettling time, and I felt that my romantic life was over. And that kind of assumption is something which holds a lot of women back, claims Julia Macmillan.

She is on a mission to help women to tackle their something love drought by doing what men do — going younger. Macmillan, 49, has set up toyboywarehouse. Younger men are nowadays desperate to meet older women, she claims, and she has more men than women looking for love on her site. Our battle is to change women's mindset and get women to believe that there are younger men who want what they are, experienced, strong-willed, confident.

Men in their mids slow down, women are dynamic and full of energy. We need to match that energy. We have a lot of happy matches. News Opinion Sport Culture Lifestyle Show More Show More News World news UK news Coronavirus Climate crisis Environment Science Global development Football Tech Business Obituaries.

Online dating leaves middle-aged women in 'single wilderness'. Single women in their 40s and 50s are increasingly feeling that their love lives are over as men their own age use online dating to cherry-pick younger models. But when did confidence and sexual maturity become so unattractive?

Susan Broom, 48, says she has given up on online dating because men her age wouldn't contact her. Photograph: Katherine Rose For The Observer. Topics Online dating The Observer Relationships Internet Dating Middle age features.

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Hardballing Is the Dating Trend We've All Been Waiting For. Unless you've got nerves of steel and the world's greatest B. Rather than being forced to send messages in order to make contact, you can be a little more laid back in your approach by simply "liking" or commenting on stories or photos in a profile. Nor did I ever use Hinge again. Susan Broom is a bubbly woman with a ready laugh who is 48, single, and has now given up actively looking for a man, certainly online, and is not afraid to admit that she does feel the sadness of that.

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